Altogether Lovely

Over this last week, I have felt the weight of sin on my shoulders. I have been constantly aware of my error, and my inability to change some of the character flaws which have become a part of my earthly being. I desire to be rid of my sin, to live a life here on earth that is unstained, and pure in every aspect of my life, as should all those in relationship with Christ. I desire to be "holy, as (he) is holy (1 Peter 3:16), and have been frustrated as I continue to fail. I know this will always be during my time on earth and that my hope is found in the certainty I have in Heaven and more specifically in the God who has sent His son thus giving me that certainty. However, although my head knows this, my heart does not often live it. I still get frustrated. I still try to change myself, rather than looking to my creator to help me.

I recently read the following quote, and I thought I would share it as it pertains to my prior thoughts. "Our birthright is to fail and to fail often, but to fail in search of something bigger than we can imagine. To do anything else is to waste it all." (http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2008/06/is-it-worthy.html) I am seeking to take these frustrations, and allow myself to dwell on the perfection of Christ. God knows my failures. I know that I serve a God who loves me, who forgives me and who is refining, sanctifying and conforming me more, every day to His image. I am thankful for this. I am thankful that God loves me even though I sin, and wants me to run to Him with the burden, so that He can strengthen me to do the things I cannot do on my own. In this way, even when I fail, I bring Him glory, as I recognize more and more that it isn't about me and so much about Him.

To close, I heard a familiar song this morning, that really resonated with me and corresponds well with my above thoughts. This song is by Kari Jobe and it is called Beautiful. This prayer represents the attitude that I pray I have as I live my life day to day. That I could release the burdens and the failures of the day, to recognize the beauty that is held in Christ. For He is "altogether lovely..." (Song 5:16) and worthy to be praised.

Click here to listen to the song.

Here, before your altar,

I am letting go of all I've held

Of ever motive, every burden,

Every thing that's of myself.

And I just want to wait on you my God,

I just want to dwell in who you are.

Beautiful, beautiful,

Oh I am lost for more to say.

Beautiful, beautiful,

Oh Lord, You're beautiful to me.

Here, in your presence,

I am not afraid of brokenness,

To wash your feet,

With humble tears,

Oh I would be poured out

Till nothing is left.

And I just want to wait on you my God,

I just want to dwell in who you are.

Holy, Holy, Holy,

You are, You are.

Holy, Holy, Holy,

You are, You are.

"because he first loved us."

Love it such a funny thing. Miraculous really. Here we are on earth and the earth is created, maintained and upheld by God. God not only created earth, but He created man from His image (Genesis 1:27) and from man, created woman. So here we are, humans on a planet called earth, with a purpose. A purpose to live a life completely and utterly devoted to the glory of God, our creator, sustainer, father and King. We seek to do this by loving God. Making Him our priority, and placing Him and His will above all earthly joys and pleasures, recognizing that how we spend our time on earth, will affect our eternal existence and the life that our souls will live far beyond our temporary time on earth. It seems so simple. Love God, and love others. But love is so confusing. So God, who is love, sends His son to earth, where he lives fully human as Jesus Christ, the saviour of the world. During this time, Jesus shows us the ultimate act of love. He dies for us. He takes the burden of all of our sin which separates us from God, so that we can experience this love. A love like no other love which was demonstrated on the cross. (Romans 5:8) In 1 John 4:19 it states "we love because he first loved us."

On earth, there are so many different kinds of love: friendship, romantic, familial, brotherly and the list goes on. What would it look like if every human relationship we had, we loved remembering that the only reason we are able to experience even a small ounce of love, is because "he first loved us". How would our relationships thus turn our hearts to God in worship and praise of all He has done for us, and spur us on to run towards Him with our eyes fixed on His goodness, remembering His grace and love for us (being the origin of love!). That our love for God, would cause us to love others, and would in turn cause us to run back to God in thankfulness and the cycle would just continue!

I am thankful for the ability God has given me to love and for sending His son as the ultimate act of love. I pray that everyday I can embrace the opportunities I have to love all those around me, and that I am able to love God more "because he first loved (me)" thus giving me the ability to experience such a beautiful and wonderful gift.

Bipedal no more...

3 weeks ago today I had surgery on my foot and I officially became handicapped for 8 weeks. Bunions. Look it up on Wikipedia. 3 weeks ago today, I received a challenge. For those of you who know me well, you will know that it is not easy for me to rest. I am always doing something and always looking for opportunities to keep busy. It is definitely something that I am working on, and something that I knew this surgery would challenge me to do. Although day after day I am constantly failing, God continues to teach me. Day after day he gives me more patience to do the once simple tasks that are now tedious and aggravating. He gives me more strength ask for help. Finally, He opens my eyes to see the wonderful people around me who have been devout in serving, patient in waiting, and incredibly encouraging. I am truly blessed.

Today, as I arrived at work, I was struggling to get to the door with my heavy bag in hand. If you have ever used crutches before, you will know how difficult it is to carry something while hobbling your way to your destination. It was a few steps in that a wonderful lady came out, offering to help me. She carried my bag in, opened up doors, and helped me get settled. This small, seemingly insignificant act, made my day. Someone that I barely know, felt the call to help me, and it was truly a blessing. This is just one, of the many acts that have encouraged me so much. Now, I don't say these things hoping you will feel guilted in to helping me the next time you see me. That isn't it at all. But I do hope to give you a picture of how the littlest things, can't have a big effect.

Someone wise recently said to me "Your situation proves that we humans are meant to be bipedal." I look forward to the day when I can yet again say I am as such. Although I have 5 weeks left of being on crutches, I see God's hand at work and I trust Him to give me the ability to see this through. I am so thankful for everyone who has been there for me. People who have been with me to watch movies, paint my toes, drive me around, or just talk. You know who you are.

Obeying at all Cost

The following is a daily devotional study from April 30 from the devotional 365 Days Calvin. I would highly recommend this devotional for anyone who might be looking for a brief, challenging, and encouraging devotional. I felt I would share this one specifically, as it really resonated with me. Obedience has never been my strength, especially when I am asked to do the hard thing. The thing that no part of my flesh wants to do, but the thing that I know I need to do. I pray you might find this to be a challenge to you as well. What do you feel God asking you to do today? What is that thing you have been putting off, or hoping would go away? Is God asking you to do something, but you have been choosing not to listen? By no means do I ask you these questions suggesting that I am good at it! I continue to struggle each day to step out in faith trusting that obedience will have it's reward. But I hope to spur you on, to do that thing. If God is asking you to do something, it is because there is benefit to you and more importantly to the Glory of God. Be encouraged. He is walking with us today, and will give us the courage and strength to do what He is calling us to do, if we are are truly seeking to honour Him with every aspect of our lives.

Obeying at all Cost

Jeremiah 42: 5 - 6

Then they said to Jeremiah, “May the Lord be a true and faithful witness against us if we do not act according to all the word with which the Lord your God sends you to us. Whether it is good or bad, we will obey the voice of the Lord our God to whom we are sending you, that it may be well with us when we obey the voice of the Lord our God.”

Extended Reading: Hebrews 11: 1 - 10

Jeremiah acts as a kind of mediator here, addressing the people in God's name as though he has been sent form heaven. The people respond by saying they will do whatever God commands. They say even more emphatically: Whether it be good, or whether it be evil, we will obey the voice of the LORD our God.

In saying this, the people do not suggest that God's word is wrong of in any way unjust;rather, they use the word good in the sense of being joyful, and evil as being sad or grievous. They ask for nothing more than that God will declare to them what pleases him, to which they will be so submissive that they will refuse him nothing, even if it is contrary to the flesh.

If this declaration proceeds from the heart, it is a testimony of true piety;; for the minds of the godly ought so to be framed as to obey God without making any exception, whether he commands what is contrary to their purpose or leads them where they do not wish to go. By contrast, those who wish to make an agreement with God, saying he should require nothing but what is agreeable to them, show that they do not know that it means to serve God.

True obedience of faith requires that we renounce our desires and do not set up our own arguments and wishes against the Word of God. We do not object to what God requires of us, saying it is too hard or not quite agreeable to us. So whether it is good or evil, meaning agreeable to or contrary to the feelings of the flesh, we ought to embrace what God requires and commands. This is the foundational measure of true religion.

Unbelievable Faith

One of the most important doctrines of Christianity, and the foundation to salvation (eternal life in heaven) through Jesus Christ is the means by which we are saved. The biblical perspective is addressed by the apostle Paul in Galatians 2:16 and says "...yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law no one will be justified." It is only through faith, given by God, we are saved and that if we"confess with [our] mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in [our] heart that God raised him from the dead, [we] will be saved."

However, James also states that "faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead" in James 2:17. Faith in Jesus Christ and the salvation that comes from Him should lead us to repentance; a recognition of our need for him to do all things, a thankfulness for his undeserved grace, and a desire to serve him with our lives through works.

Faith and works go hand it hand.

I write this today because it just makes so much sense! Any religion that seeks to serve, honor and live for a higher power requires humility and a recognition that there actually is something bigger, something more, that we are living for. There must be something or someone who is responsible for determining our eternal existence and salvation, outside of us.

Something that I love about my relationship with God is that I know that without him, I can do nothing. When I know I can do nothing without him, it makes me dependent on him, and keeps my eyes set on him. And that brings glory to him, rather than myself. Faith in Christ requires that I trust Him for faith to believe and strength to serve. It is only "from him, through him and to him" (Romans 11:36) that I can do anything. I am saved because He has given me faith to believe. It is only God who can give me saving faith, and only God can give me the ability and the desire to serve Him in a pure way.

When religion requires works in exchange for eternal life, the religion becomes about the believer rather than about their god. It is their strength and their actions that allow them to achieve the outcome they desire. But if the believer is looking to serve and live for a being outside of themselves, the religion must be about something outside of themselves. Pride puts us at the center, and pride hinders us from serving in faith. The problem is that I'm not worthy of my own affection. I don't deserve glory for myself. Only God deserves the glory. I seek to live a life glorifying to Him. I live in a sinful world where sin can hold me back from doing what I want to do--bring glory to God. When I remember that I can do nothing without Him, it forces me to go to Him for strength. This is the battle: pride. To believe that one is actually capable to 'save' oneself--this is pride, which is exactly what we need to be fighting when we are living for a higher power!

A Revelation...

I recently returned from a wonderful vacation in British Columbia with my roommate Melissa, where I visited my sister and two of my Uncles. My Uncles both work at Cypress Mountain in Vancouver, and Mel and I had the opportunity to learn how to Snowboard. My Uncle has always wanted to get me on a board, and this was finally my opportunity! I entered this adventure with anxiousness as I always fear the unknown and hate the idea of getting hurt. In the mornings we would have lessons and the afternoons, we would spend attempting to practice the things that we learned in our lessons.

Day 2 came around, and Melissa and I decided we were going to attempt a hill that was by no means little, and much larger than the bunny hill we had spent all of our time on prior. We headed up the ski lift with hands gripping the safety bar tightly , praying we would make it safely down the hill. It was our travels down the hill, where I had a revelation. A revelation about who I am, and how God created me to be and how this affects the decisions I make, and how I make them. Let me share.

I like routine. I like order, organization and control. I like to know where I am going, and why I am going there. I like to have a plan and know exactly where that plan will take me. I like reason and thought, and because of this I often over think. (None of this being my revelation). Heading down the slope of unknown grounds was definitely not aligning with these things I like so much, and therefore, I was full of fear.

This parallels well with the unknown of next year. Since Kindergarten, I have always known what the next year would hold. I transitioned from highschool, to post-secondary school and then immediately in to Teachers College. I am sure you can imagine how having no definite plans for next year might cause me to fear after years of predictability. Up to this point, I have always had a plan, and God has always confirmed my plan, telling me exactly where He wants me to go. I know that God will provide me with the means necessary to do all He desires me to accomplish next year, but my flesh seeks to war against the peace the Spirit has the potential to give me. In a similar mindset as moving slowly down the hill at Cypress, I head in to next year slowly, not making any quick movements or decisions, prayerfully and cautiously seeing what God has in store for me, anticipating the safety of the bottom of the hill where He reveals the plan He has for me.

After making it safely to the bottom, we then continued to go down the hill again, and as I got to know the slopes of that hill, I was able to move a little less cautiously, knowing what was ahead of me, knowing that I had done it before, and could do it again. I became more comfortable with the turns and twists, and eventually, was able to look up and enjoy the view of what was going on around me. I pray this will be true for this transition in my life. That as I feel God sending me down a certain unknown "hill", I would become more comfortable with the plans He has for me, and be able to enjoy the wonderful things I know that God will place in my life.

I also know that I should not fear trials, and hurt. Pain is a part of sanctification, and it is through the experiences of difficulty in my past that have shaped me and grown me the most. So I also pray that as I head in to next year, I would not fear doing something that may be way out of my comfort zone. That I would be able to point my board straight to the bottom of the hill trusting that whatever God has for me, a comfortable ride, or a ride full of bumps and bruises, that He has me in His hands. He is good.

I am thankful for this revelation, and love that God has created me to be exactly who I am today, and has given me the grace I need to make it through each day, one at a time. I am curious to see where God takes me this coming year, and pray for the strength to follow Him down any hill, no matter how steep the slope.

High Flight

I love this poem. I always think of it before I fly somewhere and I am leaving tomorrow for British Columbia. So I thought I would share it with you. This poem was actually quoted by President Reagan on January 28, 1986 after the space shuttle Challenger disaster.

It was written by a man named John Gillespie Magee Jr. who was a American who joined the Canadian Air Force. He wrote this poem in an attempt to express the emotions he felt when flying. He died at the young age of 19 years old, while training in 1941.

As with many poems, we tend to interpret poems in a way that relates to us individually. I know it has encouraged me and I pray it touches you in some way as well.

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth

And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up the long delirious, burning blue,
I've topped the windswept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or even eagle flew -
And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod
The high untresspassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand and touched the face of God.