She replied...

I never really knew her. She never stayed out long enough for anyone to know her really. She was quiet, kept to herself most of the time, except for the days when it was raining. She always seemed a little more social in the rain. The sunny days didn't do much for her. She usually didn't come out of the house until noon on the sunny days, and when she did, she seemed in a hurry. She went out, and was back again, in to the space that captivated her, gave her meaning. The space she knew she could be whoever she wanted to be, whatever that looked like.

One day she went out. Out to do whatever it is she does. But she never came back. I was so sure something had to have happened to her. Something drastic must have happened for something to remove her from the routine of her ins and outs. Her going out and coming back. Her consistency that even I had become accustomed to.

As time passed, I thought about her less and less. Eventually she became a distant memory. Fading slowly until I thought her memory was completely erased.

Until one day, I saw her. I had never seen her with such purpose. I could see it in her eyes. Even the sun couldn't hold her back today. She was zealous for the daylight, looking to soak in every ounce of it. She sat alone, basking in the glory of the sun. A contagious glow around her infected everyone near to her. Her routine changed. She never went to the same place twice and that was her routine. Yet no matter where she was, she continued to touch everyone around her. Rainy days, sunny days, even hurricanes couldn't hold her back.

One day, I found the courage to talk to her. After all these years of following her, watching her, waiting for her.

"What is your name?" I asked.

She replied..."Joy."

Don't be alarmed...

This might be 'alarming' (pun intended), however I must say that today, this half cup full kinda girl's cup is running on empty. Two words: Alarm and frustrating. From the moment I woke up, to now, alarms have haunted me. Let me share...

I awoke this morning to the sound of my alarm going off. Not just one alarm...but two. (I am a little bit obsessive compulsive, and like to set two alarms in case one chooses to not go off for some reason.) At 7:00am, I hear the sound of my more pleasant and harmonious alarm from my cell phone which I strategically place across the room so that it requires me to get up to turn it off. What a drag. It always seems smart as I fall asleep, but my perception changes when the warmth of my bed begs me to stay. Shortly after, around 7:15am, alarm number two goes off which is my radio-clock on my bedside table which plays a variety of music from Q 97.5 FM. In order to ensure that I wake up, I turn this alarm up as loud as it can possibly go. Now do take note; I am a morning person and enjoy getting up early but this morning was different, and I always know when my alarm is frustrating me, that it is going to be a long day.

Not only did I awake with a frustration with alarms, but my frustration has reappeared as my day comes to an end. I am babysitting tonight, and not just for the evening, but overnight. I always dread the overnighters as I know that it is going to require me to pursue a relationship with the house alarm, which never seems to work in my favor. So, around 10 o'clock I turn on the alarm for the night, feeling confident I have done everything right. Wrong...just 2 minutes later I hear the loud siren from the house alarm and it informs me that I apparently pressed the "away" button instead of the "stay" button. This is followed by a phone call and a Security officer who comes and checks my ID and asks me for the required payment of 50$. (You can see I am quite familiar with this process...this is not the first time and I doubt the last). For your entertainment this story has an added twist because when I opened the door for the Security officer, I neglected to turn off the alarm and therefore, set off the alarm a second time. This again was followed by a phone call but fortunately for me, the Security officer was standing beside me when I received the phone call. In the words of Charlie Brown...'Good grief.'

As I ponder the frustrations of the day, I notice that I am not alarmed that at the end of a frustrating day, that my heavenly fathers arms are wide open, ready to comfort me and forgive me for my compliancy to the frustrations and the grumbling and complaining I have allowed myself to participate in today. For that I am thankful, and I look forward to a good nights rest, and a new day tomorrow where I hope to find friendship with the alarms that have sought to attack me today and day where I can rejoice in the opportunity I have to wake up on a Sunday morning and worship my God, Savior and King in community with so many whom I love.

Until tomorrow...

Happy Valentines Day...really!

Happy Valentine's Day! I find it very odd that I am saying this and am surprised that I am having such a wonderful Valentine's Day. In all honesty, I have been dreading today for a while now. The realistic situation is that it can often make those not in romantic relationships feel very alone, while the rest of the world celebrates the significant relationships in their lives. Not only this, but can often make you think about past relationships and the bruises left behind. And I mean, I appreciate my Dad's efforts to make me feel loved, but in all honesty, it just isn't the same. But the good news is that I am here to tell you that this dread has turned in to a hope and an excitement to take opportunities to love others, and as a result, show my love for God in order that I may glorify him with my life.

Although my stance on Valentine's Day has shifted many times over the years, I must admit that I am a closet Valentine's Day fan (apparently not any more). In the past I have often taken the opinion that Valentine's Day is simply a commercialized holiday encouraging us to spend ridiculous amounts of money to show people in our lives the love, that realistically, we should be showing every day. Have you ever researched the history behind Valentine's Day? I mean seriously...who turns the anniversary of three Christian Martyrs in to a holiday based around love? (Wikipedia is your friend: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine's_Day) Valentine's Day is commercialized, overdone, cheesy holiday, and is based around a terrible story, but the fact of the matter is that we live in a culture in which Valentine's Day is a part, and being in the world, not a part of it (John 15:19), gives me the encouragement to seek to love all those whom God has given me the opportunity to love, and love them in a way that may perhaps, direct them to Christ. John 4:19 says "we love because he first loved us." God has created us, and given us the opportunity to love at all. To feel love is is because of God's incredible design for us, to be loved by God is given to us in grace, and it is only God who can empower us to love others, whether that be a spouse, a significant other, a sibling or a stranger. We need to move away from this idea that love is an action, but see it as a lifestyle. A constant giving of yourself to whomever God gives you the opportunity.

I couldn't imagine a better way to spend my Valentine's Day then being at church with a family of believers whom I have come to love and respect so much, having lunch with my Mom and Dad who have been incredible examples of love in my life, taking a brief afternoon nap (which I loved), and then spending the evening with 3 beautiful children whom I love dearly, decorating Valentine's cupcakes, playing games and falling asleep together in a large king sized bed. God is good, and I pray that I would be thankful for the glimpses of love He has given me in my life, and I would be a great example of Christ's love to everyone around me, not just today, but every day. I pray your Valentine's Day was as blessed as mine.

Oh the places you'll go.

So I babysit frequently. I love it. I have been babysitting since I was 10, and continue to do it to this day. One family I have now been babysitting for almost 3 years, and babysit for them weekly. They have three children, and I have loved getting to see them grow up. I was reading one of the young boys a book before putting him down for bed. It was Oh the Place You'll Go by Dr. Seuss. There is so many great life lessons, and so much truth in this book. I highly suggest it. Young or old. Here is the text. May this encourage you today.

Oh the Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

I lay my hand on my mouth

I was recently reading from Job. This passage stuck out to me. It says the following:

Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you?

I lay my hand on my mouth.

I have spoken once, and I will not answer;

Twice, but I will proceed no further.

Job 40:3 - 4

Now, this verse on it's own might be confusing. It seems that Job is neglecting to answer God. But when put in to context, it holds much truth and an example of an attitude which I aspire to have.

The verse prior gives insight in to the context of the verse. It says the following:

Shall a faultfinder contend with the Almighty?

He who argues with God, let him answer it.

Job 40:2

So basically, God has asked Job if he understands how the universe was created (Job 38: 4 - 11) and if he has the wisdom to govern it and all it's creatures (Job 38:12-38). God then asks the question in the previous text I provided. Job's response to this question is laying his hand on his mouth. He is humbled. He recognizes his limited experience as a mortal and could not possibly question God as he is a depraved sinner, in need of God in all his goodness and grace. God name's Job as a faultfinder, and the questions asked allow Job to see himself as simply a human, with a drop of insight in the ocean that is God.

I need this attitude in my life. I so often question God's plans. I so often think that I know it all, and that I have the ability to give some incredible insight to God in regards to what I need or think would be good for my life and the life of others. What a fool I am. I head in to next year, so unsure of so many things. I want so badly to know what to do with my life. I have so many plans and ideas, but know that I cannot direct my own path. Proverbs 19:21 says Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Proverbs 3:6 says In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. So much easier said than done, but my prayer is that I would just lay my hand on my mouth, knowing that God is sovereign, and has purpose, meaning and a plan for my life.

Now I understand that these verses lead to a bigger issue regarding God's justice in circumstances much larger then the menial problems in my life, but that would be an entire book! So, I have taken the verse, put it in to the context of my life, and pray it encourages you to aspire to this attitude as I am.

My life is yours God. I lay my hand on my mouth (or try to anyways).

Content with Less

Alright. So here I go again. A new year. 2010. A year full of the unknown, however filled with God's faithfulness, of that I am sure. A year full of blogging. (I hope) about the divinely inspired details of my life, ordained by my creator. My previous attempts have floundered, however I am determined to become a better writer. One who's no so interesting life can become interesting because of the purpose it holds. The glory of God.

This blog holds a new title. A title which came to me while reading Ecclesiastes on a damp day in early December. I always found Ecclesiastes to be such a depressing book of the bible, however it took a dark time in my life to realize the hope and truth this book holds. 2 Timothy 3:16 says "All scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness." I recognize this even more now, after seeing how different books, chapters and verses will encourage, teach and lift you up in different seasons of your life. Proof of the spirit at work.

A Handful of Quietness is found in a verse in Ecclesiastes 4:6. "Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and striving after the wind." I use this as the title, recognizing that I am living in a fallen world, where confusion is plentiful and fear of God is limited. A world where there are so many distractions which can take our eyes off of Christ. A world where I can easily strive after worldiness, and things that do not come close to comparing to the grandeur of God. Along with the recognition that I am in a fallen world, I recognize my desperate need for Christ. I recognize that I need to give up my dreams, my ambitions and my plans and be content with the path God has planned out for me. Whether that be what I have in mind or not. I will be content with whatever God has for me, even if that be less. I long to enter the Kingdom of God knowing I lived my life for Him, with nothing, than to know that I lived for my flesh, and had everything I could ever dream of.

This is my prayer for the year 2010. That I will lay all that I desire, and all this world tempts me to desire, and find myself in Christ. That I may love what He calls me to love, and hate what He calls me to hate. That I may willingly follow God's steps for my life, with joy, peace and utter devotion. That I will be content in all circumstances, knowing that I have a loving father, who cares for me and wants only the best for my life. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." I will live for Him alone, recognizing that He is more than enough and He will give me what I need in order to sustain me in this temporary life.

For His name's sake.